God is with me.

God is with me, helping me. This is the phrase I always put in mind whenever I experience difficulties, trials, and confusion. And it really works! When I’m being reminded that with Him nothing is impossible. There is no reason for me to give up easily whether it concerns my personal life or my academics.

I felt so fulfilled when I got a 1.7 midterm grade in Math. It was so rewarding since I really poured my best in analyzing the figures that are so head-breaking. Well, enough about Math. Another thing  that keeps me busy recently is my ICT project, which we are instructed to make websites or HTML’s. I admit I am not really that computer-literate yet this project really keeps me working. Quite hard for a beginner like me but as I have said, God is with me, helping me.

Now, I am almost halfway. With just a little patience and hard work, I know I can get through this. After all, this project can help me a lot in the future when I will have the chance to get a job. Life is just a matter of how you deal with it. Just be positive and have a happy disposition. Most of all, keep the FAITH.

Is the sun LOST???

It feels like a lifetime, a thousand days have passed by. Heaven knows what to say even though you’re so far away. I hope and I pray somewhere in your heart I will always stay.Lately, my sun doesn’t shine without you. Never noticed how it feels like to be without you. I finally see there’s no substitute. Do you know how much I love you? Oh my sun doesn’t shine without you. Is it lost? or am I ? 😥

Please come back. I want you to know how sorry I am to say those words that might have pained you. Our song follows me wherever I go. I thought I’d get over this. I thought I can forget but I did the things I truly regret :'((.

 

Whew! Thank G…

Whew! Thank God Midterm Exam week is over. I did not really enjoy the Chinese New year holiday because oh well I should say I was tensed, pressured, scared and sooo excited to have this week done. Sleepless nights and strained eyes, how I wish when the test papers will be returned, my efforts would be paid off. Oh sweet Jesus Thank You for being with me every step of the way… 🙂

Yellow Hearted Monday

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE…..

I was supposed to be doing something but I can’t help not having to pen down what I feel…..

My friends say I’m too much…. I don’t know what they mean…. too strict….?? too straitlaced…?? huh! Well, for those who know me, I am….. too conscious of rules, policies, standards….. well, that’s how I get discipline…. That’s how I always get back on my feet when I get sidetracked…. That’s how I get my strength…. and that’s what I teach….. What is life without setting some standards and principles, right? (Please do not place how I dress in the issue, because I dress this way for comfort and sense…hahaha)

Well, anyway, back to what I was supposed to be writing about…..writing is my other outlet when I’m down….

I remember the priest’s message three Sundays ago… it was about loving God and loving your neighbours…. Such a long explanation but what I liked about it was the part about unconditional love….

Loving a person so much it hurts…. Pretty amazing, yes!

I’ve been a witness to this:

A mother’s unconditional love to her three kids that she had withstood verbal, mental, emotional and even physical abuse from her husband to ensure that the family is intact….

A father’s love to his kids that he would rather be in a foreign place just as long as he can still be with them…..and even sacrificing his chance of happiness…..

A working mom who had to divide her time between kids and work, while hopefully waiting for her “other half” to get better…..

A sister’s love for her elder sister that she would only eat food given by someone else when her “ate” has already arrived from school…..And the elder sister also keeping mum about little sis’ mistake and owning it herself………

And a woman hiding her true feelings for a guy and prays every night that he gets all the things he wish for…….not really praying that the guy be hers…..

My former teacher and now a colleague said to me once : “with marriage, you only need love….cause with love, everything follows….” And I realized, she is talking about unconditional love……..

A love so strong, so passionate that you ache everytime you think of that person….everytime you feel the feeling…..

Oh well…..unconditional love…..i wonder………hmmmm….(sigh!)  😥

Oh I’m His Girl :((

Did you ever fall for someone you know you shouldn’t?

Try hard to fight your feelings, but you just couldn’t?

 

 

You fall deeper with each passing day,

But try to hide it in every possible way.

 

 

He’s only a friend, and nothing else–

That’s the lie you keep telling yourself.

 

You keep on saying he’s just a bud,

But deep inside, you’re falling in love.

 

You get so giddy when you meet his eyes,

But keep reminding yourself it isn’t right.

 

A simple glance turns into a stare,

But you pretend that you don’t care.

 

It’s “not right” for you two to be.

Is that why you hide it so no one can see?

 

But how long will you pretend?

Keep lying that he’s just a friend?

 

Perhaps these are feelings you can never show.

Perhaps it’s “wrong” for him to know.

 

Your friendship can’t be risked over this,

So being his girl is an impossible wish…

Amidst the nigh…

Amidst the night
I lay alone,
In darkness and in fright.
I wish my love were with me now.
I hope with all my might.
Yet no matter how loud I yell,
I will never see the light.

The man who lays beside me
Is a man who is not free.
The real me he can not see,
And his love for me will never be.

Reality is hurtful,
Painful, I must say.
I thought love was supposed to keep you sheltered from the rain.
It doesn’t happen that way,
As in fairy tales.
It takes all of your strength away,
And often times it fails.

Move forward I must,
Without looking back.
For if I do I will panic,
And courage I will lack.
Happiness has no presence in my life any more.
Sleep is for the angels,
And I will never soar.

A tribute to my exes haha

Always caught in the moment,

trapped in a scene.

My life is constant flashback,

it kills me.

I thought i found perfection,

in love with my beautiful illusion.

You’re smile overwhelmed me,

as did your lies.

I thought i was lucky,

to have you as a lover.

You whispered forever,

we’d be together.

You slipped your fingers,

in the empty spaces between mine.

You lost your grip,

I watched as your fingers strayed.

Filling the spaces of another,

you told me to leave.

Speechless,

I slipped away.

Still living in the shadows,

watching re-runs of regret.

I wish for revenge,

i pray to forget..

Yellow rain </3

I just love the rain.. watching the little droplets fall incessantly to the thirsty earth.. it reflects revival.. of being alive again..

in some cases, rain has been seen by many as a sign of upcoming typhoon.. of numerous destruction..
but a rainy season should not be a reason for us to bring out unwanted sentiments of failure, death or shortcomings..
for me, the rain is not just a cycle of the earth..
it brings out the memories that make me laugh hard.. it makes me giggle upon the recollection of childish memories..
how can i forget how lightning and thunders make me hide under my bed?
how can i forget those times when i felt like winning in lottery whenever the school admin announces the suspension of classes?
and, how can i not remember how we purposely destroy our umbrellas so we could shower under the rain?.
the rain and the memories connected with it ‘positively freaks’ me…

Boys.They are e…

Boys.

They are everywhere.

Money.

It is always in a cycle, will never run-out.

Friends.

You can have many.

Mama.

Oh, The Most Wonderful Creation of God.

She is Irreplaceable.

She is the safest home.

She is Beautiful.

Jesus You are my All…

You aren’t weak when you shed even an ocean of tears, it is one way of washing our bruised heart and cleansing of our soiled soul. It takes an ounce of courage to accept that we need the washing and cleansing. So when you do, you have indeed a ONE BRAVE HEART.

No man is wise in love because everyone including those who are overwhelmed with/by love, yet at some point in their life has to face some pain, hurt and sacrifices. Irony of life. The beauty of life. The mystery of life. Love & Pain are two different words, but you can never feel either one of it if you do not know the two.